The word love has many different meanings in
English, from something that gives a little pleasure ("I loved that meal") to something one would die for (
patriotism,
family). It can describe an intense feeling of
affection, an
emotion or an emotional state. In ordinary use, it usually refers to interpersonal love. Probably due to its psychological relevance, love is one of the most common themes in art and music.
Just as there are many types of lovers, there are many kinds of love. Though love is inherent in all human cultures, cultural differences make any universal definition difficult to establish.
[1] One definition attempting to be universally applicable is
Thomas Jay Oord's: to love is to act intentionally, in sympathetic response to others (including God), to promote overall well-being. This definition applies to the positive connotations of love.
Expressions of love may include the love for a "soul" or mind, the love of laws and organizations, love for a body, love for nature, love of food, love of money, love for learning, love of power, love of fame, love for the respect of others, etcetera. Different people place varying degrees of importance on the kinds of love they receive. According to philosophers, the only goal of life is to be happy. And there is only one happiness in life: to love and be loved. Love is essentially an abstract concept, much easier to experience than to explain.
Interpersonal loveInterpersonal love refers to love between human beings. It is a more potent sentiment than a simple liking for another.
Unrequited love refers to those feelings of love which are not reciprocated. Interpersonal love is most closely associated with
interpersonal relationships. Such love might exist between family members, friends, and couples. There are also a number of psychological disorders related to love, such as
erotomania.
Some feelings that are often associated with interpersonal love:
Affection: feelings of tenderness and/or wanting physical closeness
Attachment: satisfying basic emotional needs
Altruism: selfless or unselfish concern for another
Reciprocation: if love is mutual
Commitment: a desire to maintain love
Emotional intimacy: sharing emotions and feelings
Friendship: the spirit between friends
Kinship: family bonds
Passion: whole-hearted desire
Physical intimacy: sharing of intimate personal space
Self-interest: desiring rewards
Service: desire to help
Sexuality can be an important element in determining the shape of a relationship. While sexual attraction often establishes a new bond, sexual intention is considered undesirable or inappropriate in certain love bonds. In many religions and systems of ethics it is considered wrong to act on sexual desire for immediate family, for children, or outside of a committed relationship. However, there are many ways to express passionate love without sex. Affection, emotional intimacy and shared interests and experiences are common in friendships and kinships of all human beings.
Impersonal loveA person can be said to love a country, principle, or goal if they value it greatly and are deeply committed to it. Similarly, compassionate outreach and volunteer workers' 'love' of their cause may be borne not of
interpersonal love, but impersonal love coupled with
altruism and strong political convictions. People can also 'love' material objects, animals, or activities if they invest themselves in bonding their identity with that item. In these cases, if sexual passion is actually felt, is called
paraphilia.
[2]Scientific viewsThroughout history,
philosophy and
religion have done the most speculation on the phenomenon of love. In the last century, the science of
psychology has written a great deal on the subject. In recent years, the sciences of
evolutionary psychology,
evolutionary biology,
anthropology,
neuroscience, and
biology have added to the understanding of the nature and function of love.
Chemistry of love
Biological models of sex tend to view love as a
mammalian drive, much like
hunger or
thirst.
[3] Helen Fisher, a leading expert in the topic of love, divides the experience of love into three partly-overlapping stages: lust, attraction, and attachment. Lust exposes people to others, romantic attraction encourages people to focus their energy on mating, and attachment involves tolerating the spouse long enough to rear a child into infancy.
Lust is the initial passionate sexual desire that promotes
mating, and involves the increased release of chemicals such as
testosterone and
estrogen. These effects rarely last more than a few weeks or months.
Attraction is the more individualized and romantic desire for a specific candidate for mating, which develops out of lust as commitment to an individual mate forms. Recent studies in
neuroscience have indicated that as people fall in love, the brain consistently releases a certain set of chemicals, including
pheromones,
dopamine,
norepinephrine, and
serotonin, which act similar to
amphetamines, stimulating the brain's
pleasure center and leading to side-effects such as an increased
heart rate, loss of appetite and sleep, and an intense feeling of excitement. Research has indicated that this stage generally lasts from one and a half to three years.
[4]Since the lust and attraction stages are both considered temporary, a third stage is needed to account for long-term relationships.
Attachment is the
bonding which promotes relationships that last for many years, and even decades. Attachment is generally based on commitments such as
marriage and
children, or on mutual friendship based on things like shared interests. It has been linked to higher levels of the chemicals
oxytocin and
vasopressin than short-term relationships have.
[4]In 2005, Italian scientists at
Pavia University found that a protein molecule known as the
nerve growth factor (NGF) has high levels when people first fall in love, but these levels return to as they were after one year. Specifically, four
neurotrophin levels, i.e. NGF,
BDNF,
NT-3, and
NT-4, of 58 subjects who had recently fallen in love were compared with levels in a control group who were either single or already engaged in a long-term relationship. The results showed that NGF levels were significantly higher in the subjects in love than as compared to either of the control groups.
Psychology of lovePsychology depicts love as a cognitive and social phenomenon.
Psychologist Robert Sternberg formulated a
triangular theory of love and argued that love has three different components: intimacy, commitment, and passion. Intimacy is a form by which two people can share secrets and various details of their personal lives. Intimacy is usually shown in friendships and romantic love affairs. Commitment, on the other hand, is the expectation that the relationship is going to last forever. The last and most common form of love is sexual attraction and passion. Passionate love is shown in infatuation as well as romantic love.
Following developments in electrical theories, such as
Coulomb's law, which showed that positive and negative charges attract, analogs in human life were developed, such as "opposites attract". Over the last century, research on the nature of human mating has generally found this not to be true when it comes to character and personality; people tend to like people like themselves. However, in a few unusual and specific domains, such as immune systems, it seems that humans prefer others who are unlike themselves (e.g. with an orthogonal immune system), since this will lead to a baby which has the best of both worlds.
[6] In recent years, various
human bonding theories have been developed described in terms of attachments, ties, bonds, and affinities.
Some Western authorities disaggregate into two main components, the altruistic and the narcissistic. This view is represented in the works of
Scott Peck, whose works in the field of applied psychology explored the definitions of love and evil. Peck maintains that love is a combination of the "concern for the spiritual growth of another", and simple narcissism.
[7] In combination, love is an activity, not simply a feeling.
Scientific models
Biological models of love tend to see it as a mammalian drive, just like
hunger or
thirst. Psychology sees love as more of a social and cultural phenomenon. There are probably elements of truth in both views — certainly love is influenced by
hormones (such as
oxytocin) and
pheromones, and how people think and behave in love is influenced by their conceptions of love.
The conventional view in
biology is that there are two major drives in love —
sexual attraction and
attachment. Attachment between adults is presumed to work on the same principles that lead an infant to become attached to its mother. The traditional psychological view sees love as being a combination of
companionate love and passionate love. Passionate love is intense longing, and is often accompanied by
physiological arousal (shortness of breath, rapid heart rate).
Companionate love is affection and a feeling of intimacy not accompanied by physiological arousal.
Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love
Main article:
triangular theory of loveIn the
triangular theory of love, love is characterized by three elements:
intimacy,
passion and
commitment. Each of these elements can be present in a relationship, producing the following combinations:
Liking or
friendship (intimacy)
Infatuation or limerence (passion)
Empty love (commitment)
Romantic love (intimacy+passion)
Companionate love (intimacy+commitment)
Fatuous love (passion+commitment)
Consummate love (intimacy+passion+commitment)
Love styles
Susan Hendrick and Clyde Hendrick developed a Loves Attitude Scale based on John Alan Lee's theory called
Love styles. Lee identified six basic theories that people use in their interpersonal relationships:
Eros (love) — a passionate physical love based on physical appearance
Ludus — love is played as a game; love is playful
Storge — an affectionate love that slowly develops, based on
similarityPragma — pragmatic love
Mania — highly emotional love; unstable; the stereotype of
romantic loveAgape — selfless altruistic love; spiritual
Hendrick and Hendrick found men tend to be more ludic and manic, whereas women tend to be storgic and pragmatic. Relationships based on similar love styles were found to last longer.
Love, infatuation, and insanityStudies have shown that brain scans of those in infatuated by love display a resemblance to those with a mental illness. Love creates activity in the same area of the brain that hunger, thirst, and drug cravings create activity in. New love, therefore, could possibly be more physical than emotional. Over time, this reaction to love mellows, and different areas of the brain are activated, primarily ones involving long-term commitments.
Dr. Andrew Newberg, a neuroscientist, suggests that this reaction to love is so similar to that of drugs because without love, humanity would die out.
Religious views
ChristianThe Christian understanding is that love comes from God. The love of man and woman, eros in Greek, and the unselfish love of others, agape, are often contrasted as 'ascending' and 'descending' love, respectively, but are ultimately the same thing.
[8]There are several Greek words for Love that are regularly referred to in Christian circles.
Agape - In the
New Testament,
agapē is charitable, selfless, altruistic, and unconditional. It is parental love seen as creating goodness in the world, it is the way God is seen to love humanity, and it is seen as the kind of love that Christians aspire to have for one another.
Phileo - Also used in the
New Testament,
Phileo is a human response to something that is found to be delightful. Also known as "brotherly love".
Two other words for love in the Greek language --
Eros (sexual love) and
storge (needy child-to-parent love) were never used in the
New Testament.
Christians believe that to love God with all your heart, mind, and strength and Love your
neighbor as yourself are the two most important things in life (the greatest commandment of the Jewish
Torah, according to
Jesus - c.f.
Gospel of Mark chapter 12, verses 28-34).
Saint Augustine summarized this when he wrote "Love God, and do as thou wilt".
Saint Paul glorified love as the most important virtue of all. Describing love in the famous poem in
1 Corinthians he wrote, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres." -
1 Cor. 13:4-7 (
NIV)
Saint John wrote "Dear friends, let us love one another for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love." -
1 John 4:7-8 (
NIV)
Saint Augustine says that one must be able to decipher the difference between love and lust. Lust, according to Saint Augustine is an over indulgence, but to love and be loved is what he has sought for his entire life. He even says, “I was in love with love.” Finally, he does fall in love and is loved back, by God. Saint Augustine says the only one who can love you truly and fully is God, because love with a human only allows for flaws such as, “jealousy, suspicion, fear, anger, and contention.” According to Saint Augustine to love God is “to attain the peace which is yours.” (Saint Augustine Confessions)
John the Apostle wrote, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but the save the world through him." (
NIV John 3:16-18)
Christian
theologians see God as the source of love, which is mirrored in humans and their own loving relationships.
C.S. Lewis , influential Christian
theologian wrote a book called
The Four Loves.
Buddhist In
Buddhism,
Kāma is sensuous, sexual love. It is an obstacle on the path to
enlightenment, since it is selfish.
Karuṇā is compassion and mercy, which reduces the suffering of others. It is complementary to wisdom, and is necessary for enlightenment.
Adveṣa and
maitrī are benevolent love. This love is unconditional and requires considerable self-acceptance. This is quite different from the ordinary love, which is usually about attachment and sex, which rarely occur without self-interest. Instead, in Buddhism it refers to detachment and unselfish interest in others' welfare.
The Bodhisattva ideal in Tibetan Buddhism involves the complete renunciation of oneself in order to take on the burden of a suffering world. The strongest motivation one has in order to take the path of the Bodhisattva is the idea of salvation within unselfish love for others.
Hindu
In Hinduism
kāma is pleasurable, sexual love, personified by the god
Kama. For many Hindu schools it is the third end in life (
artha).
In contrast to kāma,
prema or prem refers to elevated love. However, the term bhakti is used to mean the higher, divine love.
Karuna is compassion and mercy, which reduces the suffering of others.
Bhakti is a Sanskrit term from Hinduism meaning 'loving devotion to the supreme God'. A person who practices bhakti is called bhakta.
Hindu writers, theologians, and philosophers have distinguished nine forms of devotion that they call
bhakti, for example in the
Bhagavatha-Purana and according to
Tulsidas. The philosophical work
Narada Bhakti Sutras written by an unknown author (presumed to be
Narada) distinguishes eleven forms of love.
Islamic
In a sense, love does encompass the Islamic view of life as universal brotherhood which applies to all who hold the faith. There are no direct references stating that God is love, but amongst the 99 names of God (
Allah), there is the name Al-Wadud or 'the Loving One', which is found in Surah 11:90 as well as Surah 85:14. It refers to God as being "full of loving kindness". In Islam, love is more often than not used as an incentive for sinners to aspire to be as worthy of God's love as they may. One still has God's love, but how the person evaluates his own worth is to his own and God's own counsel. All who hold the faith have God's love, but to what degree or effort he has pleased God depends on the individual itself.
Ishq, or divine love, is the emphasis of
Sufism. Sufis believe that love is a projection of the essence of God to the universe. God desires to recognize beauty, and as if one looks at a mirror to see oneself, God "looks" at itself within the dynamics of nature. Since everything is a reflection of God, the school of Sufism practices to see the beauty inside the apparently ugly. Sufism is often referred to as the religion of Love. God in Sufism is referred to in three main terms which are the Lover, Loved, and Beloved with the last of these terms being often seen in Sufi poetry. A common viewpoint of Sufism is that through Love humankind can get back to its inherent purity and grace. The saints of Sufism are infamous for being "drunk" due to their Love of God hence the constant reference to wine in Sufi poetry and music.
Jewish In
Hebrew Ahava is the most commonly-used term for both interpersonal love and love of God. Other related but dissimilar terms are
Chen (grace) and
Hesed, which basically combines the meaning of "affection" and "compassion" and is sometimes rendered in English as "loving-kindness".
Judaism employs a wide definition of love, both between people and between man and the Deity. As for the former, the
Torah states: "Love your neighbor like yourself" (
Leviticus 19:18). As for the latter, one is commanded to love God "with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your might" (
Deuteronomy 6:5), taken by the
Mishnah (a central text of the Jewish
oral law) to refer to good deeds, willingness to sacrifice one's life rather than commit certain serious transgressions, willingness to sacrifice all one's possessions and being grateful to the Lord despite adversity (tractate Berachoth 9:5).
Rabbinic literature differs how this love can be developed, e.g. by contemplating Divine deeds or witnessing the marvels of nature.
As for love between marital partners, this is deemed an essential ingredient to life: "See life with the wife you love" (
Ecclesiastes 9:9). The Biblical book
Song of Songs is considered a romantically-phrased metaphor of love between God and his people, but in its plain reading reads like a love song.
The 20th century Rabbi
Eliyahu Eliezer Dessler is frequently quoted as defining love from the Jewish point-of-view as "giving without expecting to take" (from his Michtav me-Eliyahu, vol. 1). Romantic love per se has few echoes in Jewish literature, although the Medieval Rabbi
Judah Halevi wrote romantic poetry in Arabic in his younger years (he appears to have regretted this later).
Mythological Different cultures have deified love, typically in both male and female form. Here is a list of the gods and goddesses of love in different mythologies.
Green Tara; identifies with maternal love and compassion in
BuddhismShri Devi; a wrathful image that identifies with maternal love and compassion in
Buddhism. Represents the condition of a mother's inner feelings as she sees her child in suffering and in delusion that leads to the suffering
Áine; goddess of fertility and passionate love in
Irish mythologyAmor or
Cupid — god of passionate love in
Roman mythologyAonghus or Aengus; god of beauty, youth, and sensual love in
Irish mythologyAphrodite — goddess of beauty and passionate love in
Greek mythologyEros — god of passionate love in
Greek mythologyFreya — goddess in
Norse mythologyKama — god of sensual love in
Hindu mythologyRati — goddess of passionate love in
Hindu mythologyRadha — goddess of ideal divine love in
Hindu mythologyLakshmi — goddess of love and fortune in
Hindu mythologyVenus — goddess of beauty and passionate love in
Roman mythologyXochipilli — god in
Aztec mythologySource :
http://wikipedia.org/
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